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INDIGO CHILDREN
Our relationship with our partner or spouse can be a major path to learn about who we are, to help downsize our ego, and to become more fully connected with spirit. Children are also a wonderful opportunity for our growth. This is especially true when we have an indigo child, partly because they have innate wisdom, they speak their truth, and they hold us accountable.
 INDIGO KIDS - WHO ARE THEY? Indigo kids are very special human beings. They’re very intelligent, powerful, intuitive, and sensitive.
The down side of their sensitivity is that many are also deeply affected by the stresses around them. For example, if you’re having a tough time in your personal life or with your spouse, they may get caught up in it and make things worse. Some of these kids also become self-destructive, even suicidal at times.
Using traditional approaches to parenting indigo kids may be asking for rebellion. At the same time, many believe that part of the Indigos reason for being here is to help break down rigid authoritarian in their environment and in society.
UNDERSTANDING INDIGO KIDS
The term Indigo Kids comes from the spiritual development literature. They’re a new breed of kids who’ve been here since the late 1980s, although some have shown up before then. In spiritual terms, they’re more highly evolved than most people.
Indigo kids are very special human beings. Think about it: They’re very intelligent, powerful, intuitive, and sensitive. Although these children are far from perfect, these are qualities that many of us on a spiritual path are trying to develop.
- Intelligent: They may or may not perform well at school. Some have learning disabilities, or other learning difficulties. However, all of them are very intelligent in terms of being able to grasp some situations very quickly, and in terms of seeing different ways of doing things.. They’re highly intelligent in at least some areas of their lives. They’re primarily right-brained, so they’re very visual, creative, artistic, physical and spatial, and they learn better by using their sense of touch.
- Sensitive: Indigos are easily affected by the energy around them, more so than most other people. For example, although they may not be aware of what it is, many can sense negativity around them, and be negatively affected by it, whether in the home, amongst their peers, or in the community in general. That means they can get off base more easily than most. Because many have the tendency of acting out, their parents or other authority figures often see them negatively and try to control them, which makes things worse. The positive side is that they can grow really quickly through the use of healing methods that many adults cant even relate to.
- Intuitive: They pop up with awareness on issues that can be very surprising. For example, they’ll understand some of what’s going on at a deeper than others. At the same time, they may be quite immature and not grasp some things well at all. They have a high trust of their own view of things. Because of their self-reference, they can be perceived as having high self-esteem. The reality is that many have a size-able chip on their shoulders and are down on themselves.
- Powerful: Indigo kids are powerful in the sense that they have a powerful spirit. This is very different than youths who are pushy or very reactive, or who beat other people up. They’re fearless in terms of speaking their truth. Also, they wont do certain things that wont fit for them. They’re usually very prepared to tell you what they need. Many Indigos want to run their own lives from a very early age.
- Indigos also have a broad perspective and are often compassionate: They react negatively against what they see as cruelty, unfairness, inhumanity, stupidity, callousness, and insensitivity.
Because only 3% of children and youths are Indigos, almost all of them have difficulty relating to their peers. They see children or youths their age as being immature and shallow. As a result, they have the tendency of hanging out with older children or youths, which can also present some difficulties, such as greater exposure to drugs.
 Self-destructiveness:
Interestingly, I’ve seen nothing written regarding Indigos and self-destructiveness thus far, even though its a major issue for many of them. Indigos have an aggressive streak that can often become quite negative. Over the last couple of years, all of my clients who were children or youths were Indigos. 90% of them had a destructive or self-destructive streak. For example, one six year old and another seven year old that I’ve seen recently were talking about dying. A number of youths I’ve worked with have been suicidal. Some youths, beginning age twelve, had a destructive streak in the community. A couple I’ve seen recently were aggressive toward their parents. Ill explore this issue in an upcoming newsletter on this site.
Impact on the parents:
As far as I’ve seen thus far, all indigos are born to at least one parent who’s an old soul. Old souls are people who have a great deal of depth, connection with spirit, particularly beginning in their forties, are sensitive, and often have a fair amount of luggage of their own. Such parents provide the Indigos with a rich ground for growth and Indigo children provide their parents with a major opportunity for growth. Because of their strength, and standing in their truth, and their acting out, Indigos provide us with many opportunities for seeing our immature, reactive, and petty sides. Some parents become very controlling, get into screaming, lash out physically, disown their kids, and so on. One mother and her daughter that I saw recently screamed every day at each other even though they both knew better.
Having an Indigo child is a great opportunity for growth although it can often feel quite awful. Its particularly painful for those of us who want to focus on the other guy being the problem, and would rather not look at our own faults. Its partly because of the difficulties parents experience with their Indigos that some couples end up separating.
The bottom line is that parents reactiveness directly results in the Indigos acting out more. This leaves us parents with little choice but to clean up our own stuff - and develop more integrity and go more fully into our healing and our light.
I nvolvement with the professional community:
The vast majority of professionals have still not heard the term Indigo child. For example, a trainer of psychotherapists as well as a psychologist in charge of special education for a city I recently spoke with had never heard the term and were’nt open to hearing about it.
Even if they have heard the term, many simply see these children as troubled. Some Indigos are troubled, of course, but the first issue is that professionals need to see these children as they are. Many professionals will simply see your child as being dysfunctional, such as labeling them as ADD or ADHD, and they may prescribe medication for them, which most Indigos don’t need.
Many professionals will give you guilt trips - implying that its all your fault. Your job as parent is to act as advocate for your child. If the professional wont listen to you or to your child, move on - whether its a physician, teacher, or psychotherapist. Such professionals will only add to your burden. You’re in charge - so don’t put up with much negativity from them. Find someone you and your child can work with.
What to do:
Read these articles:
- Indigo Children - Potential and Perils
- How Not To Parent Indigo Kids
Visit our ARTICLES section. This site will provide articles on a number of aspects of Indigo kids, how to handle them, as well as on Indigo families.
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